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Now it may sound like I have had a lot of success on the scene and well I guess that’s true. I have been very lucky to have met a fair number of very nice people over the years. But I have also had my fair share of timewasters and dreamers. I think it is about time to let you know about some of those experiences as well – the other side of the scene.
Dreamers
To me dreamers are those who think that swinging is something they would like to do but when the time for talking about it ends, the reality is they loose their nerve. I do understand that it is a big step to let another bloke have sex with your wife / lady but before posting the message think long and hard about it and if you have any doubts don’t. Also there is the sudden realisation that you, the man, will be in close proximity to another man and have sex in his presence. Again it sounds great but the reality and nerves can be totally different. Most of all never got to a party or club unless you are 100% sure that you will be able to handle the sex side. There is nothing more embarrassing for everyone when a couple have an argument because one is enjoying themselves more than the other or jealousy kicks in.
I made contact with a couple from the next but one town from me. Over a couple of months of chatting, I found out that it was their first time and although she was nervous they wanted to have a 3-some. We finally agreed on a date. It was not ideal for me as I was on nights at the time and would get a couple of hours sleep, meet them and then go back home to get more sleep before heading off to work. We arranged that I would wait for them in a rail way car park in their town. They could collect me and we would go back to theirs. I parked at 12 as agreed and sent them a text to say I was there. They replied saying they would be there in 10 minutes. 10 minutes later and … no sign of them. Another text asking if everything was OK – yes and they would be there soonest. Another 30 minutes and I am now seriously getting bored. So I sent them another text asking if there was a problem and if there was could they let me know what was going on. The reply I got back was to the effect to of “if that’s you attitude then forget it!” I sent them another message just apologising and left. A couple of days later I had a message from her saying that he had got cold feet at the last moment and she had been trying to persuade him. She was still keen but didn’t think anything would happen.
Another couple I contacted and we arranged to meet, I booked a hotel and all seemed to going well until about 11 on the day when I got a message from her saying that the meet had been arranged without her knowing anything about it and I should cancel the hotel as she would not be there. Luckily she sent that in time so I could get a refund.
I have had the fun experiences of getting to a pub as planned, having a drink and leaving after an hour when they have not shown. I totally understand that people change their minds or circumstances change at the last moment but if you have my number then just let me know. Or even come along and have a chat. I always say that I never expect anything more than a drink and a chat. There is no pressure to do anything else. Just the other week, I had arranged to meet a couple from South Wales and was on the way to them when she sent me a message saying that she was sorry but her period had started totally unexpectedly. Yes I was a bit peeved and thought it was an excuse as this would have been their first time…then she rang me to say how sorry she was. I said not to worry but if they wanted to just meet up for a drink then I would be happy with that. An hour later and we are having a great time chatting and socialising in a pub. So as I said just send a message - it is only polite.
Time wasters
These are the ones who set out with no intention of going through with anything. They could just be picture collectors (aren’t there enough sites on the net for them?) or from my experience, men posing as couples looking for bi experiences. I have had a number of these and the messages seem to go along the lines of this. She “likes your photos and would like to see more, especially of your cock.” I reply that there are enough photos on my profile for her to have a good idea of what I am like. OK they say and then they ask if I am bi. I reply that I am not. They reply that she would like to see him with another man – sorry but that won’t be with me however I am happy to meet in a 3-some situation. Then they reply that they have talked it over and if I would meet him for some fun then after that we 3 would be able to meet up. So…what part of “not bi” do you not understand asks me? I sent a message back to one bloke saying why not be honest in what he is looking for and he would probably get a better response. He gave me a load of abuse saying that they had the right to change their mind about what they were looking for etc etc. A week later I saw their profile was now as a Single Bi Male looking….
But.... if you are thinking of trying the “scene” don’t let the dreamers and time wasters put you off. It is great fun if you are willing to persevere. As I have said, if you change your mind or events change then all it takes is a quick message or e-mail and everyone should be happy. After all politeness only costs 1 text message.
Dreamers
To me dreamers are those who think that swinging is something they would like to do but when the time for talking about it ends, the reality is they loose their nerve. I do understand that it is a big step to let another bloke have sex with your wife / lady but before posting the message think long and hard about it and if you have any doubts don’t. Also there is the sudden realisation that you, the man, will be in close proximity to another man and have sex in his presence. Again it sounds great but the reality and nerves can be totally different. Most of all never got to a party or club unless you are 100% sure that you will be able to handle the sex side. There is nothing more embarrassing for everyone when a couple have an argument because one is enjoying themselves more than the other or jealousy kicks in.
I made contact with a couple from the next but one town from me. Over a couple of months of chatting, I found out that it was their first time and although she was nervous they wanted to have a 3-some. We finally agreed on a date. It was not ideal for me as I was on nights at the time and would get a couple of hours sleep, meet them and then go back home to get more sleep before heading off to work. We arranged that I would wait for them in a rail way car park in their town. They could collect me and we would go back to theirs. I parked at 12 as agreed and sent them a text to say I was there. They replied saying they would be there in 10 minutes. 10 minutes later and … no sign of them. Another text asking if everything was OK – yes and they would be there soonest. Another 30 minutes and I am now seriously getting bored. So I sent them another text asking if there was a problem and if there was could they let me know what was going on. The reply I got back was to the effect to of “if that’s you attitude then forget it!” I sent them another message just apologising and left. A couple of days later I had a message from her saying that he had got cold feet at the last moment and she had been trying to persuade him. She was still keen but didn’t think anything would happen.
Another couple I contacted and we arranged to meet, I booked a hotel and all seemed to going well until about 11 on the day when I got a message from her saying that the meet had been arranged without her knowing anything about it and I should cancel the hotel as she would not be there. Luckily she sent that in time so I could get a refund.
I have had the fun experiences of getting to a pub as planned, having a drink and leaving after an hour when they have not shown. I totally understand that people change their minds or circumstances change at the last moment but if you have my number then just let me know. Or even come along and have a chat. I always say that I never expect anything more than a drink and a chat. There is no pressure to do anything else. Just the other week, I had arranged to meet a couple from South Wales and was on the way to them when she sent me a message saying that she was sorry but her period had started totally unexpectedly. Yes I was a bit peeved and thought it was an excuse as this would have been their first time…then she rang me to say how sorry she was. I said not to worry but if they wanted to just meet up for a drink then I would be happy with that. An hour later and we are having a great time chatting and socialising in a pub. So as I said just send a message - it is only polite.
Time wasters
These are the ones who set out with no intention of going through with anything. They could just be picture collectors (aren’t there enough sites on the net for them?) or from my experience, men posing as couples looking for bi experiences. I have had a number of these and the messages seem to go along the lines of this. She “likes your photos and would like to see more, especially of your cock.” I reply that there are enough photos on my profile for her to have a good idea of what I am like. OK they say and then they ask if I am bi. I reply that I am not. They reply that she would like to see him with another man – sorry but that won’t be with me however I am happy to meet in a 3-some situation. Then they reply that they have talked it over and if I would meet him for some fun then after that we 3 would be able to meet up. So…what part of “not bi” do you not understand asks me? I sent a message back to one bloke saying why not be honest in what he is looking for and he would probably get a better response. He gave me a load of abuse saying that they had the right to change their mind about what they were looking for etc etc. A week later I saw their profile was now as a Single Bi Male looking….
But.... if you are thinking of trying the “scene” don’t let the dreamers and time wasters put you off. It is great fun if you are willing to persevere. As I have said, if you change your mind or events change then all it takes is a quick message or e-mail and everyone should be happy. After all politeness only costs 1 text message.
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jocos
08 February 2011 - 03:22 PM
im so glad to hear and i thought it was just usthat had come up against the dreamers and wasters the wife says fantasy and reality is so hard to adjust for some, but we are sorry to hear youve had your dissapointments,as it is so frustrating.
DandS
08 February 2011 - 07:25 PM
ah hunni, not all goes to plan eh ... I've just had to change out weekend plans due to Mother Nature! She's a vile biatch!! ... and, tho neither of us are into swinging, I have found yr blogs so very informatve ... a real insight ... thank you xxxSxxx
Muppet4
08 February 2011 - 10:13 PM
Thanks for the comments.
DandS - Don't get me wrong as I am not accusing people of using TOTM as an excuse, I know it does happen early etc. It happens but at least they let me know.
Jocos - I agree with you that the fantasy and reality are 2 very different things and yes there have been some wasted evenings but I have been very lucky and not had as many as others I know.
DandS - Don't get me wrong as I am not accusing people of using TOTM as an excuse, I know it does happen early etc. It happens but at least they let me know.
Jocos - I agree with you that the fantasy and reality are 2 very different things and yes there have been some wasted evenings but I have been very lucky and not had as many as others I know.
xxBowxx
09 February 2011 - 07:29 AM
lucky for me i dont see mother nature anymore, but Cats mother nature can be a bit naughty on time she is very inconsiderate on times...lol.
if some one changes plans or cancels before the meet i cant accept that, i will always give them another chance,things happen i understand that ..but when people put you out and blatantly leave you standing i go apeshit ....and they will never want to meet me after that cos im joe blunt and i tell them straight ..
it true what Jocos said fantasy and reality..but i spose we are the lucky one to be able to mix them both together..
xxBowxx
if some one changes plans or cancels before the meet i cant accept that, i will always give them another chance,things happen i understand that ..but when people put you out and blatantly leave you standing i go apeshit ....and they will never want to meet me after that cos im joe blunt and i tell them straight ..
it true what Jocos said fantasy and reality..but i spose we are the lucky one to be able to mix them both together..
xxBowxx
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